The Chronicles of Ooo
by JoeMo2000
Summary: Parts 1 and 2 of "The Vampire, the Witch, and the Ice King" are up. What is the full story of their past, and is there any chance at all that they have a happy ending? Can love triumph over magic? I might write more than just these two parts if I get positive feedback, but as of now, I have no plans for another short story.
1. The Vampire the Witch and the Ice King 1

The Vampire, the Witch, and the Ice King (Part 1 of 2)

From all across the Land of Ooo, the Witch gathered her ingredients. But as she prepared her potion, she couldn't resist playing the video tape. She stopped stirring her cauldron, and pressed the play button on the machine, and a young man appeared on her screen. Or at least, that was what the Witch was expecting. Instead, she was greeted with an old, blue-skinned man with a wild, untamed beard. She waved her hand, and the video instantly rewound itself to the start.  
"You may go, Gunter," she said, and the penguin next to her bowed its head and waddled out the door.  
The penguin paused at the door, then turned back to the Witch. "Wenk?" he said, and the Witch merely nodded. "Wenk wenk wenk," he said, and slid down the hill, back to the Ice King's palace. It wouldn't be long before Finn and Jake knocked him around enough to make him return, and Gunter didn't want to be absent when he did. Not the squirt bottle again...  
The man on the screen began to speak, and the Witch set down her tools to watch. "Hello. My name is Simon Petrikov. I am recording this tape so that people will know my story."  
The Witch resumed brewing her potion as the thousand-year-old recording played itself out on her screen.

* * *

It was another cold day outside, despite being in the middle of summer. Simon Petrikov had long since given up on trying to understand how the crown worked - all he cared about now was getting it to stop working. Of course, Betty had her ideas, but they mostly involved one of them (usually her) being far away from the artifact. But Simon just couldn't let it go.  
Nobody in the scientific community took him seriously anymore, that was obvious - not that his recent discoveries had made it easier for them to accept him, of course. The untranslatable "Enchiridion" was viewed as another silly attempt to fake his way into the public eye, and the crown was the next logical step.  
Simon sighed, and wiped his glasses on his shirt. At this point, he wore them solely out of habit - the prescription made no difference, and he could see fine without them, anyway. He chalked it up to more of the crown's bizarre magic. He frowned at the obvious blue tint that was appearing all across his skin. Simon wiped some sweat off his forehead, and resumed poring through his dusty old books for any help at all.

* * *

Simon awoke abruptly, his sleep interrupted by a yelp from next to him. "What is it?" he asked, turning on a lamp next to his bed. He saw Betty in bed next to him, holding her own hand, as though it was hurt. There were tears running down her face. "What's the matter?" he said softly, but his voice was grating and unfriendly.  
Betty was clearly sobbing now, and Simon realized that he must be freezing. "Simon, what happened to you?" she said, trying to calm herself. "What happened to the rational man I fell in love with?" But there was nothing Simon could say that he hadn't already said ten - no, twenty - times before.  
"I still love you," he said, but he knew she wouldn't believe him. He reached out a hand and touched her arm, but she recoiled from his chilled touch.  
Through her tears, she managed to mutter, "I'm sorry, Simon, but I can't." Without another word, she dressed, packed a bag, and left. Despite being mid-summer, it began to snow.

* * *

The following morning, three inches had piled up outside. Simon looked through his refrigerator for some breakfast, only to discover that he wasn't even the least bit hungry. He sat down at his desk. The voices in his head grew more and more distracting, but he did his best to focus on his work. It wasn't until he heard a child's laughter that he stopped - this was a new voice, and it sounded almost... pleasant. And it took him a moment to realize that it wasn't, in fact, in his head at all.  
Simon walked to a window and pulled back a curtain. In the snow was a small, black-haired girl in an overall dress, making snow angels. But what drew Simon's attention was her skin - a pale, but noticeable, grey.  
She seemed to hear him coming, and was brushing the snow off of her clothes when he stepped outside. "Hi!" she said, smiling. "My name's Marceline!"  
"I'm Simon," he said, closing the door. It felt much nicer outside, in the cold, than it did in his house, and it worried him.  
"I know! My daddy says you're a wizard!"  
Simon shook his head and smiled. "Science isn't magic, Marceline. I study the world, and the things in it -"  
But Marceline giggled. "No, not science, I mean REAL magic! Like the snow!" Simon stared at this girl, half in pity because she was clearly crazy for thinking he caused the snow, but half in self-examination, because... maybe she was right?  
"Who's your father?" Simon asked, his raspy voice continuing to bother him.  
"My daddy's a demon!" she said proudly, and Simon shook his head again. As if she sensed his disbelief, her face tilted back, and her lower jaw seemed to unhinge itself from her skull, causing her mouth to open to a degree that it should have had no business opening to. A monstrous-looking red tongue, with a split at the end, snaked out above her head, and Simon could see long, razor-sharp teeth inside her mouth. Marceline let out an otherworldly roar, and Simon fell back against the door of his house, horrified.  
And as suddenly as it started, it stopped. "Me, too, see?" she said cheerfully, completely unaware that Simon was now cowering in fear. "My daddy is the King of the Nightosphere, so he knows a lot about magic and stuff, and you're a real powerful wizard, he says. Thanks to the crown."  
Simon pulled the crown off his belt and showed it to the demon girl. "This crown?" he asked, the archaeologist in him beginning to focus again. "What do you know about this crown?"  
"It's the crown of the Ice King," she said, "but I don't really know anything else." Simon's face fell, and Marceline seemed determined to cheer him up. "I'll ask my dad, though!" Part of him wasn't sure he was even having a conversation at all, the unlikeliness of what was going on, but he decided he would believe in it for now.  
"Thank you very much," he said.  
"I know! Let's be friends!" Marceline offered him a hand, which he shook. Then, she turned around and walked away, leaving Simon all alone in the ever-growing piles of snow.

* * *

The video hissed with static as it moved on to the next video entry. Simon was completely blue now, and his nose was growing longer and pointier. His beard had grown in and Simon was clearly making no effort to tame it. The Witch added more ingredients to her brew and continued stirring.  
"It has been over a week since Betty, my princess, left me, and I can feel my grasp on reality sleeping away from me. I have made a new friend since then, though - a young demon girl named Marceline. It sounds crazy, I know, but she's there every time I go outside, and she's been very helpful in my research of this crown." There was a knock at the door, and it took the Witch a moment to realize it was her own door.  
The door swung open, and a young boy and dog stood outside. The boy was holding a piece of paper in his hand, and was waving it around.  
"Hi!" said the boy, excited. "Are you the Old Witch who needs a quest?"  
"Oh yes! Come in!" said the Witch, waving an inviting hand - which also turned off the screen and flipped a picture frame over, face-down.  
The boy and the dog - Finn and Jake, from what the Witch had heard - stepped inside, and their eyes widened at all of the trinkets and gizmos that she had lying around. They let out a long, "Oooh!"  
"Yes, yes, let's talk about the quest, shall we, boys?" They sat down on the ground, and looked at the Witch in wide-eyed wonder. "I will, of course, reward you handsomely for your troubles - anything your hearts desire that I can give to you shall be yours for completing this quest for me." Finn and Jake grew more excited than ever at the prospect of a reward.  
"Can I get a fire-proofing spell?" Finn blurted out.  
"Finn, let her speak," said Jake, hushing the boy.  
"Oh, yes, of course, for your time with the Flame Princess!" Finn's mouth opened slightly, and the Witch clapped her hands together. Several identical scrolls appeared before them in the air. "Roll one of these on your wrist, and you will be fire proof for an entire hour, one use per," she said, and Finn reached out to grab one, but t hey vanished. "AFTER you finish my quest!"  
"Anything you need, ma'am!"  
"I need you to get for me..." she paused for effect, and everyone leaned forwards, "some hair from the Ice King. As much as you can, please." They froze. A long time passed, during which, the Witch stirred the bubbling cauldron.  
"You need WHAT?" asked Jake, making sure he heard correctly.  
"Hair from the Ice King," the Witch repeated cheerfully. She waved her hands, and her guests vanished from her cottage, reappearing outside, some way away from the hill. The Witch picked up the picture frame, and smiled sadly at the picture it held. A single tear dropped from her eye, and she resumed the video.  
"The crown," Simon continued, unaware of her interruption, "is an ancient relic belonging to the old Ice King, from millions of years ago. It can give the one it binds to an extremely long life, as well as control over ice and snow. But, I also seem to be losing what is left of my sanity."  
There was another flicker of static, and Simon appeared again, his beard much longer now. "It's been two months since my last update," he said. His old voice was almost completely gone now, replaced by the horrible rasp of the Ice King. "I can't tell what's real anymore, and what's in my head. Almost nothing makes sense. I've tried to control these visions and whispers, but they're everywhere. Only my friend, only the demon girl Marceline, is clear to me, but I'm forgetting many things about myself. I'm forgetting who I used to be. All I have is a picture of my princess, and the knowledge of what I'm turning into. The crown owns me now, has me in its grasp. I may not be Simon for much longer." The Witch shed another tear over her picture.

* * *

Six months since Simon met the demon girl. That was how he measured the passage of time now. He brought his camera with him as he went outside that morning, and was greeted by the familiar, grey-skinned demoness. Despite the sub-zero temperature, she still wore her t-shirt and overalls dress, playing in the snow.  
"Smile!" said Simon, and he took a photo of Marceline for his scrap book. "Want to have a snowball fight with me?" he said, grabbing a handful of snow. He threw the chunk at her, and missed - intentionally, but Marceline was surprisingly faster than he was expecting, and his throw was much farther off-target than he was aiming for.  
Simon was about to throw another snowball, but instead got hit in the head by a newspaper from a passing paperboy.  
Marceline brushed some of the snow off of Simon's doorstep, and the two of them sat down to read the daily paper. It became a ritual between them, a bonding experience, and a last-ditch effort to help fend off the memory loss of his life before the crown that came with his magic.  
They turned to local news. Some no-name was running for office, a three-car accident across town, and a hot-dog eating contest were the highlights of the day, but before Simon could close the paper, Marceline pointed to one of the portraits from the accident.  
"Hey Simon, isn't that... Isn't that Betty?"


	2. The Vampire the Witch and the Ice King 2

The Vampire, the Witch, and the Ice King (Part 2 of 2)

The next thing Simon knew, he was at the front desk at the hospital, Marceline trailing behind him, looking shy. "Where's Betty?" he said, and the clerk at the desk yelped in surprise. "Betty Greenbloom, where is she?" he demanded, slamming the torn-out photograph from the newspaper onto the desk.  
"A-are you alright, sir?" the clerk asked, shaking slightly in her seat as she looked at Simon's face. But Simon had no time to waste, and it began to flurry inside the hospital reception. The clerk's face changed from fear to shock as a handful of snowflakes landed on her desk.  
"Calm down, Simon," said Marceline, tugging gently on his pants, and Simon took a deep breath. The last snowflakes fell, and Simon gave the clerk an angry glare. "Where is she?" he repeated.  
The clerk looked fom Simon to Marceline, and decided that, after today, she needed a vacation, but in the meantime, would help the two strange people asking for an ICU patient.  
"She's in the Intensive Care wing," she said, and gave Marceline the directions - for Marceline knew Simon would forget them immediately - and then, as the two of them left, she wrote an email to her supervisor, using vacation time to take the next week off.  
Simon ignored the blatant stares and whispers as he passed people in the hallway, knowing that they were commenting on his blue skin and long nose, but not caring what anyone said. After walking for several minutes, Marceline led him into a small room, with two hospital beds. The one near the door was empty, but the one by the window, behind a curtain, had the sounds of many machines, beeping away. Simon looked at the clipping in his hands, and then pulled back the curtain.  
Betty was lying on the bed, unconscious, judging by her steady breathing, but she was hooked up to at least four different machines, with wires and tubes sticking to her in various places on her head, chest, and arms. She had some large bruises on her face and arms, and there was blood in her hair. Betty's face was covered in stitches and bandages, though. Simon immediately knelt over her legs and started sobbing.  
A passing nurse walked by, and walked in, alarmed. Marceline saw him, and said, "It's okay, he just hasn't seen her in a while," and the nurse nodded and walked away. Marceline closed the curtain behind her.  
"I'm-I'm so s-sorry, Betty," Simon wailed, and Marceline could see that his tears were staining the bed sheet. "The c-c-crown, it's d-driving me crazy!" He wiped his eyes on the sheet, and Marceline looked away in mild disgust. Of course, the numbers ticking away on the machinery meant nothing to her, as she was still a young girl, so she looked out the window, instead. The snow was continuing to pile up now, and even for mid-winter, there was quite a bit of it now. Behind her, the machinery began beeping louder and more quickly. Was something wrong? Marceline had no way of knowing for sure, but some of the numbers and words on one of the screens was blinking. 96... 95... 94... Something was dropping, but Marceline couldn't be sure what.  
"Please for-forgive me, my sweet princess," Simon cried, and Marceline saw that Simon was freezing the bed sheets.  
The computers beeped more urgently for a few more moments, and someone threw back the curtain and several people rushed to the bed. They were all talking too quickly about medicine or whatever that Marceline couldn't keep up, but she understood the basic idea - Betty was dying. One of the doctors shoved Simon gracelessly out of the way.  
"DON'T T-TOUCH ME!" Simon yelled, and bolts of ice shot from his hands and froze the doctor against the wall. He fought his way back to the side of the bed, and took the crown off his head and placed it on Betty's.  
"Stop it, Simon!" Marceline shouted, but Simon ignored him.  
"No! Leave me alone, Marceline! It saved me, maybe it can save her, too! I have to try," he said, tears streaming down his face, but the crown fell off her. He managed to grab it again before he was restrained by two security guards and hauled outside the room. Marceline watched with a frown as Simon placed the crown back on his head, and then everything went white.

* * *

The Witch added the next ingredient, and lowered the heat on the potion. It was almost done, there were only a few more ingredients left - and the final two had to be added together to work properly, so she sat down and resumed watching the video. The screen flickered with static again, and Simon appeared on the screen again. He had fully grown his beard and nose by now, and his skin was a sickly shade of blue to match the ice. There was a crack in his left glasses lens, and there were tears in his eyes. Behind him, there was no snow, only dust and smoke, partially obscuring a devestated backdrop. Buildings were toppled and everything was charred.  
Simon pulled out a sheet of paper from off screen, and started to read. "This is probably going to be my last entry. My recorder is running low on power, and there's no where to recharge anymore. Everything was destroyed in the explosions. I saw Betty one last time, but I think she's dead now. I tried to save her with the crown, but it didn't work. Its power only works for me. Marceline told me that the crown only works for special people, so that might be why. But none of that matters any more, because the world is dead."  
The Witch felt a pang of sadness, and looked again at the picture. She pressed a finger to Simon's smiling face, one of the last times he smiled before he lost himself. But that would change.  
"It started when I blew up the hospital with Betty in it. I didn't mean to do it, I was just so sad because Betty was dying in front of me, and suddenly, I'm standing in a crater. Marceline was gone, Betty was gone, everything was gone. There was nothing left except me, my pack, and a crater. And that's when the Mushroom War began.  
"The nukes fell everywhere, and I don't know how I survived - more magic from the crown, I suppose. But the radiation killed almost everyone else within a few weeks. Only a few places were safe from the War - Australia, and parts of South America and Africa, but I haven't heard anything at all since Russia was completely wiped off the map. Literally - the entirety of northern and eastern Asia was blown off of the Earth by the Americans, reducing the planet's mass by about one fifth. I can only hope that I'm not the last human alive, because I'm afraid I'm not even human anymore, myself.  
"I'm recording this message so everyone can know how it all ended. I'm sorry to everyone who died because of me. I'm sorry I-"  
The recording was abruptly cut short. The Witch began to cry.

* * *

All Simon had left was his pack, his clothes, and the crown. Everything was abandoned now - grocery stores, malls, houses. He considered robbing a bank, but money was worthless now. And he hadn't eaten in months. What was there left to do? What would he do now? Where would he go? He didn't know anyone anymore.  
He could barely remember what he did the previous day.  
He set his pack on the ground and pulled out some papers. Perhaps he could write a song? He thought about all he could remember, and one face stood out strongest, the grey-faced young girl named Marceline, and he began to write.  
"Marceline, I can feel myself slipping away. I can't remember what it made me say. But I remember that I saw you frown. I swear, it wasn't me, it was the crown." He stopped and thought for a bit, and heard a faint sound coming from a short distance away. He ran over to the sound, and saw a young black-haired girl crying. Marceline. She survived? Simon was shocked and pleased. He set his pack on the ground, and walked over to her. He smiled softly, and gave her a hug, wiping away some of the tears in her eyes. She gave him a confused look, but didn't say anything until he ran off again.  
"Wait!" she said, but Simon ignored her. He quickly found a toy shop, and picked up a small, slightly deformed stuffed doll, and hurried back. He handed her the doll, which Marceline gladly embraced. "Thanks, Simon," she said, and Simon picked up his pack. A small picture fell out of one of the pockets, and the marker fell to the ground. Simon smiled at the picture of Marceline, and he wrote more lyrics on the back.  
"Marceline, is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world? That must be so confusing for a little girl. And I know you're going to need me here with you, but I'm losing myself and I'm afraid you're going to lose me, too." He put the picture back in his bag, and started walking away. Behind him, he heard a sound, and turned to see a little black-haired girl, giggling with a red stuffed doll.  
"What a cute little girl," he said with a half-smile. "She seems kind of familiar." But he couldn't place her, and walked away. The Ice was calling to him, and he had to create a new home. The Ice King needed a kingdom.

* * *

The Witch's muffled crying was interrupted by a knock at the door. She set the picture down on the table, and opened the door to find Finn and Jake, carrying a large bag filled with the beard of the Ice King.  
"Oh, thank you very much, my brave knights!" she said, and welcomed the two inside.  
Finn looked obviously expectant, and Jake nudged him in the ribs. "Wait a moment, dude," he whispered.  
The Witch took the hair out of the bag, and picked up an old deformed doll from her shelf. The doll was very old and tattered, with rips and tears all throughout its body, sewn badly back together.  
"Hey, I think I've seen that doll before," said Jake, narrowing his eyes as he gave the doll, and the Witch, a glance. "Wasn't that in Marceline's memory? The one - " Jake jumped up, and pointed at the Witch. "Hey, you're the witch Ash sold that doll to!" Jake stretched his arm, and pulled the creature from the Witch's hands. "We should probably give this back to Marcy, Finn," he said.  
"Yeah! Don't you know how much she loved this doll?" Finn was getting angry now. "Why do you need the Ice King's hair, anyway? What kind of potion are you making? Who are you?"  
"Please," begged the Witch, "please give me the doll back, and I'll explain everything, I promise."  
"Tell us first," said Jake, "and then maybe we'll give the doll back to you. But you have to have a really good reason."  
The Witch nodded. She could, at any time, take the doll back by magic and send them away, but having their cooperation would make this better. "Please, sit down," she said, and snapped her fingers. Two cushioned chairs appeared behind Finn and Jake, and the two boys shrugged and sat. "My name," said the Witch, "is Betty. Betty Greenbloom."  
"Wait, Betty as in the Ice King's Betty?" asked Finn, and the Witch nodded.  
"The very same, but I still think of him as Simon Petrikov. You see, I left Simon because of what the crown was doing to him. It drove him crazy, and I saw it right away, but I couldn't do anything. So I left. A few months later, I was in a car accident, and ended up in the hospital. I don't know how he found out, but Simon came to visit me, and even tried to save me with the crown, but it didn't work. At first."  
The Witch picked up the picture on her table, and handed it to Finn. "That's me and Simon," she said with a small smile. He was truly in love with me, and he was extremely saddened by what was happening to me, that his ice powers grew so strong, and he exploded. Everyone around him, everyone in the hospital, was dead, except for him and Marceline - and me. The crown saved me, and his power changed me from a scientist to... something else. I gained magic powers."  
Finn and Jake exchanged shocked looks, and turned back to the Witch - Betty - to hear more.  
"I tried speaking to him after that, many times, but he never recognized me, always obsessing about a princess. I knew then that my fiancee, Simon, was gone forever, and in his place was the Ice King, cold and heartless and alone. Oh, how many times I wished I could do something to change him back, or at least give him back his memories. And that's when I found this potion. It can give someone their memories back, but the potion needs the genetic materials of the person it's supposed to affect, as well as the last thing they touched while they still remembered things. That doll, Hambo - he gave it to a young Marceline, over a thousand years ago, before he lost his mind. I'm hoping it can save him."  
Jake looked at Finn, who took Hambo from Jake. Finn walked over to Betty and handed her the doll. "Here you go. I really hope this works, ma'am."  
Betty smiled. "Thank you so much, my dear," she said.

* * *

After she had negotiated the rewards for Finn and Jake, she prepared the final ingredients. The boys refused to leave - they had to know how it turned out. And so they watched in awe as Betty nestled the doll in the Ice King's beard, and dropped the giant ball of hair into the potion. POOF! went the potion, releasing a large cloud of smoke, and the contents of the pot turned from a nasty green to a cool, solid blue. The Witch carefully ladled some into a vial. "Are you ready, boys?" she said, and they nodded. With a snap of her fingers, they vanished from her cottage, and reappeared inside the Ice King's castle.  
"How am I even supposed to fly anymore, Gunter?" cried the Ice King to a cowering penguin. "I need my beard to fly, and those monsters took my beard!" He wept openly on his armchair until he noticed three new people standing in the room. "YOU monsters! You did this to me!" he shouted, pointing at Finn and Jake. His hand flickered with the power from his crown, but before he could hurl ice at them, Betty interrupted.  
"Simon, wait!" she said, and waved her hand. The crown flew off of the Ice King's head, and his hand returned to normal.  
The Ice King looked at the Witch. He had a blank look on his face. "Who are you?"  
"I need you to drink this, Simon." She held out the vial in her hand, offering it to the Ice King.  
"Why do people keep calling me Simon?" he said, looking at the vial curiously. "What's this?"  
"It's a memory potion," said Betty.  
The Ice King looked at her, and thought for a moment. "A memory potion, eh? It helps me remember things I've forgotten? But I can't remember that I've forgotten anything." The Ice King looked at it for another moment, then smiled. Finn and Jake shared a look of disgust at the beardless smile of the Ice King. Then he said, "I guess that means I need to remember, huh?" He took the potion from Betty, and chugged it.  
They waited.  
The Ice King looked at the vial. He waited, too.  
And then he keeled over, and screamed in pain. "Ohh, my head," he shouted. Finn and Jake started to run to help him, but Betty held them back with her arm.  
"Don't," she said simply, and they stopped.  
The Ice King's overgrown hair began to shrink, and the icy-blue tone of his skin began to fade, ever so slightly.  
"What's happening to me?" he shouted, and fell to his knees. When he looked up, his face was only slightly blue, and his hair was only down to his neck. His nose was less than half the length it had been only moments before. "What happened?" he whispered.  
Betty smiled. Suddenly, her face changed from the old, greenish, wrinkled look of the Old Witch, and was restored to a pink-faced woman. Her pointed hat fell off, and her head filled with shoulder-length red hair.  
Finn and Jake gaped in awe, and discreetly bumped fists behind their backs.  
"Simon, is it really you?" Betty whispered, her high-pitched voice sounding significantly more human than it had earlier. "It's me, Betty," she said.  
Simon stood up, looking at his hands. "I - I can remember, I can remember everything." He looked up at Betty, and smiled. He hurried forward, and embraced her in a very, very long hug. "I'm so sorry, Betty."

* * *

Finn noticed it first: the slight changing of the tint on Simon's skin. It had been half an hour since he drank the potion, but Finn knew that something was wrong. Gradually, over the next hour, Simon began to get absent-minded, or distracted by things, and that's when it became obvious to everyone - the potion wasn't permanent. A whisker here, a memory lapse there, and Betty began to cry silently. Soon, he stopped responding to "Simon" completely, and the crown once again found its perch on the top of his head. At the end of a long night, he threw them out, desperate to be alone with the ice and penguins once again.  
Betty returned them to her cottage, weeping.  
"I'm so sorry, Betty," Finn said, and laid a hand on her head for comfort. "Maybe you can try again?"  
"Ohh, I dunno, Finn," said Jake, looking in the cauldron. "This potion looks pretty rank." Finn looked at the potion, and saw it had changed from a nice, comforting blue, to a nauseating grey.  
"It-it wasn't strong enough," said Betty, through her tears. "He was too far gone when he touched the doll, and it bound to the Vampire, Marceline, instead."  
Jake put a paw on Betty's shoulder. "We'll try something else, Betty, I'm sure we can find something else he valued. There has to be something that Simon loved more than anything else."  
Finn gasped. "No... It can't be..."  
Betty nodded. "Exactly. The one thing he loved more than anything else, the one thing that has to go into the potion in order to fix him, and gets used up by its magic..." Jake's jaw dropped, and Betty smiled sadly, "is me."


End file.
